The KINDNESS Forum

I want to share a story of kindness. Back in 2017, when Hurricane Harvey hit in Houston, TX, I was living in the area and my home flooded. My family (including 2 cats in carriers) was evacuated from my flooding home by boat and taken to higher ground. We had nowhere to go and had no idea what was going to happen to us. Plus it was raining and we were all soaking wet. A couple who we did not know from the area drove by and found us, and they invited all of us (including the cats) to their home for as long as we needed. It was a big act of kindness, and we are forever grateful to them for helping us in our time of need. There are wonderful people out there, and sometimes we are fortunate enough to find them.

Be Kind, Not Nice

Joy Lynskey

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joy-lynskey/?lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_pulse_read%3BJp5t68SNQyWX8QWY8uBRrA%3D%3D

Devoted Wife + Mama | Leader in Design, Construction, and Planning, Creating Spaces and Relationships that Invigorate and Inspire

March 25, 2024

Several years ago in the early years of JTI, we worked with a coach that helped Jaclyn and I see a recurring pattern: we were hiring ourselves.  Our coach Kelly Townsend also informed us that our entire team was too nice and that we needed to work on that. 

Let me give some clarity on this statement.  Nice in the way that Kelly was referring to people pleasing, sweeping things under the rug, and avoiding confrontation. 

Instead, we focus on KINDNESS. Do you know what is kind? 

Accountability is KIND. When you hold others to account you support them in being successful in the intentions they set. You honor them by creating a space where they know that they can count on you. Over time, this will foster a relationship with a foundation of trust. 

Active Listening is KIND. This requires dropping preconceived notions and leaning into what the other person is speaking. It is helpful to reiterate to the person what you heard to make sure you are in alignment.  Active listening allows people to feel seen and heard, which is a desire of every single person. 

Boundary setting is KIND. When you share your boundaries with others it allows them to show up in a mutually beneficial way. It’s helpful to think of boundaries not as a wall, but as a bridge, providing a more intimate connection to others.  Often, when you share your boundaries in a vulnerable way you also inspire others to hold boundaries for themselves which can truly transform their life. 

Clear is KIND. (I learned this one from Dr. Brené Brown!) Providing clear directives around expectations is necessary for alignment in priorities It not only allows you and the person you are communicating with to get on the same page but it also offers the opportunity for negotiation and feedback on your request. 

Honesty is KIND. Nobody likes to think of themselves as a liar. It’s a nasty word that brings up a ton of emotion inside. However, people operate daily by letting things slide, and not tackling the difficult issues.  Even though it may seem like the "nice" thing to do, these unspoken truths will fester inside you and I assure you they will rear their ugly head one day and could have the potential to ruin a situation or even a relationship. 

So, are you a nice person or are you a kind person?